... and the Oscar goes to...

yes, today is the first (and probably last) day of my acting career. do not worry, i am definitely going to post my scenes on youtube.com so that everybody can admire the next Corey Haim. ssshhhhh

enjoy the weekend, say hi to santa... and don't drink and drive!!!

my best wishes to all

(K) x 1000

PS: see you on Sunday, edi ;)

Vauxhall and I

Satan Claus

l

little satan's been a bad bad boy this year...

be good. (k) happy wednesday everyone!

The Ghost of Christmas Future

Scrooge: "so... you're saying someday i'm gonna die all alone...?"
Ghost: "yes"
Scrooge: "ok... then... WHY DON'T YOU GET A FUCKING JOB AT THE WEATHER FORECAST DEPARTMENT, YOU INEPT PIECE OF GHOST, YOU..."

HIM

he's evil. he's effeminate. he looks like santa claus, but... skinnier.

how can you not like HIM? :o

To me you are a work of art

I live a life
I feel the pain
To sing this song
To tell the tale
I wish I never even heard the song

I see the world
It makes me puke
But then I look at you and know
That somewhere there’s a someone who can soothe me

To me you are a work of art
And I would give you my heart
That’s if I had one

I see the world
It makes me puke
But then I look at you and know
That somewhere there’s a someone who can soothe me

To me you are a work of art
And I would give you my heart
That’s if I had one

To me you are a work of art
And I would give you my heart
That’s if I had one

written by Morrissey and Alain Whyte

Not to find the key

little did we know that our days were reaching their end.

The Ghost Of You

I threw out the photographs
Like yesterday's flowers
I tried to erase the past
But it won't go away

And those where the curtains
That you had made
One thing's for certain
The ghost of you stays

I painted the second room
And cleared out the basement
And smelled some of your perfume
On a scarf that you made

The Salvation Army collected your things
I gave them the jewellery, all the bracelets and rings
Your clothes in black bin bags I gave them away
I tried to move on but the ghost of you stays

I threw out the photographs
Like yesterdays flowers
I tried to erase the past
But it won't go away

I wake in the morning
And try to be brave
But it's hard to move on
When the ghost of you stays

It's hard to move on... when the ghost of you stays

written by Brett Anderson and Bernard Butler

The Great Elephant From The Sky

It was somekind of parallel dimension, and we lived in some sort of cyberpunk religion themed world, and as normal as any regular thing in life, we were told that humans were expecting the arrival of The Great Elephant From The Sky. Ok, no problem. I just decided to continue with my everyday chores.

Suddenly, after a few days of looking at the sky waiting to see if the Great Elephant would fly in, it actually happened. I was at a mall and I looked up through the windows, and yes... a big metal Box with sort sort of cross painted on it was falling from the sky, but... where would it land?... it was a huge box, I was scared it would fall on top of the mall and well, kill me. but no, I could trace the trajectory and... I was safe, but then I turned around and saw where it could fall... and oh, my apartment buildings looked like the place. I ran to the other side of the mall and pressed my head on the window, scared and amazed, and the box went right through the two tall buildings... well actually, almost right through... it hit a small part of Tower B... and it started crumbling down. I live in Tower A. But as B started to crumble to pieces, it went a little sideways and it hit Tower A... of course, this one also crumbled down. I was so shocked. Of course, at the same time I saw this, the metal box that carried the Great Elephant From The Sky, crashed into a complex behind my apartment buildings, it was my old highschool. It was completely destroyed. And the screaming, and the kids, and the bodies. It was all just a horrible sight.

My attention focused, for some reason on the school. I went out of the mall and ran to the school, and saw this horror. Bruised, injured teachers and parents were crying, actually not knowing what had happened. Kids dead on the ground, some still alive, but not for much. Chaos, fire, blood. I suddenly thought about what should have really been in my mind: my home. I then realized something, something very important and obvious that only dreams make you momentarily forget... my father was in my apartement. I started to cry. Just when I did, some person I know (can't remember), started complaining and said: "Oh, don't pay attention to him. he cries about anything." I ran to my demolished home but I couldn't get near. All the firefighters and the cars and the sirens and the people, they just wouldn't let me get near the place. I started losing control and then I realized yet another horrible thing: my dog was also in the apartment. I started to cry again. People started laughing about me because I was crying about my dog. I got really angry. REALLY angry. It was as important to me as anybody in my family, and this is so true.

I found my mother and I told her of the two beings who were in the apartment, and she said: "Now we're screwed." I asked her why, and she said... "now we don't have a computer". SO TRUE. damn it... i decided to fight the barriers, and ran to my apartment to find the computer and yes... my CDs, oh my god, my CDs were there. I hoped I could find some of my CDs among the shattered remains. Suddenly... the whole building was not demolished, only part of it, and yes, my apartment had only suffered partial damage. I entered my home and found my dog, alive and kicking, wagging his tail, happy to see me. The computer's alright, my CDs are alright, everything's ok. I go out and share the happy news with everyone.

But... what really happened? What happened to my father? Was he still alive? Was this Great Elephant From The Sky a saviour or, more likely, some sort of doom device, a sign of evil? And whatever it was... where was it? ... for... it was nowhere to be seen.

Stood Up

sponsored by the Donut Boy Drama Queen Association.

it definitely does an untamed heart NO good.

;) (K)

Pit Pat

Yes. Pit Pat loves you.

Blood

beauty in the face of danger
passion in the eyes of honesty
can true love lie in the deepest wells of our heart
without sacrificing the meaning of a song?

someone killed the only part of me that was alive.
someone is to blame.

What can I do

This song is found on Antony and the Johnsons' album "I am a Bird Now", and features lead vocals by Rufus Wainwright. I feel like crying everytime I listen to it.

What can I do
When the bird's got to die
What can I do
When she's too weak to fly
What can I do
When she's calling my name
She's crying "Mama, Help me to live
..............Mama, Help me to live
..............Mama, Help me... To live
...............................To live
...............................To live
...............................To live"
What can I do
What can I do
What can I do

written by Antony

Angel Wings

yes. angel wings. hands on head. shaking the booty... just ignore the roadie.

Ballad of e-lover

e-lover, e-lover
why do our words get tamed
when we have screens between us
which dissipate all the shame?

e-lover , e-lover
when we share the air we breathe,
why do our tongues get tied
and words fail to please?

e-lover, e-lover
heaven is full of things we miss
will we ever go into a darkened room?
will we finally disconnect and kiss?

The Odd Ones In

and the ones who come out
they just don't understand our love

Siamese Twins

i used to share my soul with the life we led
i shared my heart in my lover's bed
i shared my thoughts and i shared my head
never realizing i was just half-dead

Antony

hope there's someone
who'll take care of me
when I die
will I go...

Untitled

Will you be my lover?

Will you be the one?

Will you be like no other

For how long?

Oh yes I'll be your wild flower

Grown through the concrete

And born to the backbeat of the stars

And yes I'm just a stupid guy

Crushed like a butterfly

Dead-eyed at the drive-by in a car

And like flies on a windscreen

And like insects in glue

We could stick together

If you wanted to

And yes I'll be your wild flower

Grown through the concrete sheets

And born to the backbeat of the stars

And I'm just a stupid guy

Crushed like a butterfly

Dead-eyed at the drive-by in a car

Yeah just a stupid guy

Crushed like a butterfly

Dead-eyed at the drive-by in a car

written by Brett Anderson and Richard Oakes

Zombie Jesus

why, of course... the guy died, and then he was walking all over the place again...

The Man Whose Past is the Future

John Titor... where are you?

Peeping Tom

gotta get my mojo running, engine humming, don't i?

Mexico Pics

here they are. pics from our trip to mexico. hope you enjoy them.

have a nice week, everyone.

PS: yes, edilma. i'm alive :)

It's OUT!!!

have a nice weekend everyone.

kisses, hugs and handshakes.

Mexico. Day Three

we had to be in the lobby at 10:15am. this was our last day in mexico city, as we were leaving the next day very early. carlz, alz and i woke up around 7am, got dressed and just went out walking around el zocalo. everything was closed, but hey, so what? we had a small breakfast, and just walked and walked and walked. we just admired the architecture, the people, the weather. it was a nice walk. going back to the hotel around 10am, we saw that "mixup", a record store, was opening. we looked at each other, and said.... what the hell. went in and bought yet more cds. we met with the rest of the crew in the lobby at 10:15am and we were ready to go to el chopo. one of the event's organizers came to get us, so three of us went with him, the others got a taxi.

when we arrived, the place was packed. lots of people walking around, there was already a band called fuzz playing. they greeted us in a very nice way. we put our instruments in a corner and just gazed at the sight. the backline was pretty good, it was a relatively small place to play, so we didn't need the big speakers or anything. it sounded really good despite the conditions. the band was playing some instrumental surf music and everybody was just observing, analyzing, and moving their heads or feet. they were giving out some sort of bulletin, which they hand out every saturday (when the market takes place), and to our surprise we were in there. there was a review of the group and it said we were playing there. the offer came the night before at around midnight, so these are very organized and dedicated people. we were very surprised. well, they said that we were going to play at 2pm, so that meant that we had two hours to "kill" in el chopo. thank g-d.

we started walking and in the first stand... they had original 7 inches, 12 inches, imported cds from japan, europe, everywhere. special editions. things that wouldn't be easy to find anywhere, especially in venezuela. we went mad. the next stand had bootleg dvds. concerts from morrissey, the cure, placebo, anything you wanted... from any year you desired, from any tour you missed. it was heaven, and yes, it was cheap. the bootlegs were really cheap. around 5 - 6 dollars each.
we saw leather jackets, leather boots, leather accesories, rock t-shirts, cds, dvds, books, everything. the hours passed by and it was time to play, and i had spent around $50 dollars, and had LOTS of things. pretty good ;)

they introduced us to the audience. a nice applause greeted us. we connected to the backline, and just let out our short set of 5 songs. people were enjoying the music, trying to figure out the lyrics, and just having a good time. again, we had a good response from the crowd, and when we finished some people approached us and congratulated us. it was really really nice. we had played in el chopo :)

we went back to the hotel, left our instruemnts and it was already kind of late, around 5pm. this day (saturday) was supposed to be our get-to-know-mexico city day, but this event in el chopo, in the middle of the day, didn't let us do that, but hey, what the hell... we came to play. so we still had to buy some things... and we didn't have time :o so we went to la zona rosa (the pink zone), a very tourist place with lots of big name stores. maybe it wasn't the traditional side of mexico we would have liked to see, but it was perfect for the sitaution. we bought what we needed there, and went to a mexican restaurant to seal the night and celebrate for our wonderful trip. there was a juxebox and we just kept putting some mexican rancheras music in the place. mexican people are usually very calm and quiet, so it was very obvious we were foreigners because we were all shouting and laughing out loud. well, it's good to be venezuelan ;) and yes, the night meal ended with some mana songs... hahaha, if you don't know, mana is a popular rock band form mexico, very big in latin america..... and they're horrible, but it was just for our own amusement ;)

ok, the event had payed for the hote,l but only until saturday morning, but we had decided to stay until sunday, so we had to find a place for the night. we saw a hostel just next door, so we looked at eachtoher and said ..... WHY THE HELL NOT? we were seven and we got a six bed room. so yes, i had to sleep in the same bed as alz. not the first time, so no biggy. at night everyone was falling asleep, we went to a seven eleven just across from the street (yes, seven eleven, very mexican, huh?) and we listened to some electronic music coming out from the spanish cultural center, where we had played the night before. i went in the room and asked who would like to check it out with me. the man for the job was carlz. we got appropiately dressed and went there. yes, there was a dj putting some music and we went in... had a couple of beers, had a good time and went back to the hostel.

at night i couldn't really sleep much because marcos snored like a mofo, and well... it was just horrible. we woke up really really early, had breakfast at the hostel, went to the airport and said goodbye to this wonderful country. mexico, i'll miss you, but i'll see you again, that's for sure.

Mexico. Day Two

we woke up around 7am and i was already feeling a little tiny bit better. alz, oscar, ezra and marcos wanted to walk around downtown but carlz, jarz and i had other specific intentions... for example, we needed to buy picks for the guitars. so we decided to find a musical instruments store. what we found was heaven. four blocks of music stores, one next to the other, both sides of the street. we tested everything we wanted, checked out new gear, and of course, bought our miserable picks :P

this lasted like 5 hours, i know, leave us alone... ;) then we met at the hotel and went to eat. i've been trying to remember what we ate, but sorry, i have no idea... now i actually wonder if we ate at all. anyway, the soundcheck was scheduled for 2pm... but we had to wait for a spanish group that hadn't arrived. we ended up doing the soundcheck at 4pm... it went smoothly, we took our sweet time, and everything fell beautiful on stage. we went back to the hotel, slept a little, relaxed, took showers, got dressed, put our make up on and were ready to... gimme an R, gimme an O, gimme a... ok you get the point.

an opening artist was already playing when we arrived... he was like a surprise or something like that, he wasn't on the bill. anyway, he finished, and it was time for us to take the stage. we were scared, but a little less scared than on bryan adams... we were in foreign lands... didn't have anything to lose... just go out and give the best of what we had. and that's exactly what we did. just when the first song ended, people's reaction was already a positive one. they seemed to like the songs, the group, the show, everything. alz made some stage comments, for example inviting people to go to morrissey's concert in mexico city on november 16, and asking who had been at placebo's performance two days before. by the response, you could see there were some placebo attendees there. that was a relief... maybe they are getting our music. we finished with a medley we've been doing for some time and people seemed to enjoy it. everything looked ok. we got down and took our instruments to the hotel... just 30 seconds away ;) at the hotel, we were happy but of course, we needed to hear people's opinion to really feel that we'd accomplished something. we went back to the venue and stood at the back watching the other groups. 5 minutes passed and we were already being talked to and congratulated for the performance.

the mexican crowd is lovely. they go to concerts just to hear new music. that's something completely different than in venezuela. here you need to have a name... or need to be important. sometimes a completely unknown group will come, but the campaign is so good, that people will go. the new bands have no life here. but not in mexico, they want to listen to what you have to offer. if they like it, you have new fans. if they don't like it... they just go. not a word. beautiful.

people started talking to us... asking about our influences, showing us their placebo or morrissey t-shirts. asking if we were selling the CDs, and fortunately the record company did give us a small number of CDs which we sold that day. people were very very nice. and only by talking with them did we realize that yes... billy se fue had officially been heard... and understood... by foreign ears.

before the event had finished, we were already asked to perform at EL CHOPO the next day. but... "what is EL CHOPO?" we asked. "it's a rock fleemarket. you'll find rock accesories, rock CDs, originals and bootlegs. any DVD of any performance of any band you like. it's heaven." that sounded good :) we were also informed by two different people, that the cardigans guitar player and pixies' frank black were spotted in EL CHOPO buying some CDs. hell, we were happy to play there :)

we were scheduled to be there at 11am, so that meant waking up around 8am... it was already very late and we were tired... and we still had to work the next day. so we just bought some alcohol, went to the hotel and relaxed. after the concert... for the first time in a week... i was not feeling ill.

Mexico. Day One

we arrived at the maiquetía international airport near caracas at 4am and we were very sleepy but excited of course. the complete crew included the four billies, alz, jarz, carlz and myself, oscar the manager, ezra the second manager/photographer and marcos our sound engineer. travelling with marcos was a real experience. he's one of the funniest people i know and he just won't stop talking, and he'll make up some of the weirdest things you could ever imagine. he's such a character. i knew then that this was not going to be a boring journey. just when we were having our passports checked to leave caracas, he was already inventing a new traditional venezuelan musical instrument that was able to create cheese while being played. you just had to be there. we got on board and we were doing a stopover in bogotá, colombia. it was a short flight and it went really fast.

in the bogota airport one thing that caught our eye was the number of policewomen inspecting you... and hey, very beautiful women. you just don't see that in venezuela.... beautiful policewomen. anyway... that was a nice greeting. our stay in the airport was also short and then we moved on to the mexico plane.

now of course, this one was a little bit longer, like three hours long or something like that. the airplane was pretty empty, so we just sat where we liked. i ended up seating next to alz the vocalist. we didn't talk so much as we prefered to sleep, listen to music or watch the movie which was pirates of the caribbean 2: dead man's chest. i hadn't seen the first one so i didn't understand parts of it, but hey, i rented it two days ago ;)

anyway, we arrived at mexico city around 1pm, and there was a van waiting for us. nice. very nice people, very calm and relaxed. they left us at the hotel... a very nice hotel, he had to separate into three rooms, two 2 bed rooms and one 3 bed room. oscar and marcos went to one of the 2 bed rooms. the other one was occupied by jarz the guitar player and his brother ezra (because they were sharing a suitcase) and the 3 bed one was taken by carlz the drummer, alz and i.

ok, it's important to point out that i was burning hot with fever. two days ago was bryan adams concert and i was already feeling really bad. after the concert, backstage, alz (he's a doctor) gave me a shot to stop any virus from invading my body. i guess it was too late, cause it didn't do sh!t, and so there i was, first day in mexico, and i was burning hot with fever. but hey, that wasn't going to stop me.

we went out to check out the place where we were going to play, the spanish cultural center, and it was next door, just next door. excellent. no tiring walks, no money spent on taxis :P after seeing the center, we decided to just walk around the hotel, and see where we were staying.

we were at the zocalo, a great big square, a point of reference, of protest, of ritual and of national celebration. it has a very big mexican flag and it's just in front of the National Palace. very beautiful. it's a very clean place, a little worn out and damaged by the times, and we fell really safe. there were some streets where we were told not to go to, but here we were alright.

ok, now this is the part where we forget our place in space and time and just let ourselves be devoured by the consumer's pitiful world. we found a record store. ok, let me explain, here in venezuela we have record stores, of course, but it's really difficult to find good cds, things that you relly like. if you're looking for something that's out of the top 20s.... the latin top 20s, you're going to live through hell trying to find it. so, understand me when i say that finding a record store in mexico IS a big deal for 7 venezuelans :P

yes, we found lots of CDs. I could have bought 15 CDs that first day, but this was my logical thinking... "i'll stay here 4 days, i if buy everything today... i'll feel miserable the other days, cause i'll want to buy more and i won't be able to... so i'll spread this 10 cds through the course of my trip and i will return a happy man". hell.... it worked :) so i just bought two that day.

anyway.......... walking and walking..... and eating, of course.... we went to a mexican restaurant... don't ask me the name, and we had our share of traditional food. remember... i was burning hot with fever, so i just had a big soup... don't ask me the name... it had everything. chiles, rice, cheese, meat.... very very good. after our long long meal, we bought some beers and went to the hotel. yes, we are responsible. we had a long day ahead of us, with an important event, and we didn't want to stay out late and get destroyed. our room was next to a little terrace, so this guys stayed there drinking and drinking until 2am... i didn't go with them... i was in bed... hoping that i wouldn't feel so terrible the next morning...

... to be continued

In the meantime...

hello people,

i hope everything is fine and under control. this week has been a little hell for me for different reasons, but hey... here i am. i feel pretty ill these last two days, a sore throat has gotten hold of me and well, got a lot of work too, which implies a lot of talking, so no... i'm not feeling better. i hope the weekend will embrace me in a hug of relief. anyway... i'm dying to tell you about my trip to mexico BUT i'm waiting for the pictures. the photographer is really irresponssable :P and i hope this weekend i can get my hands on the pics. in the meantime i would like to share some CDs i bought in the land of zapata. always the music lover i am, i just couldn't miss the oportunity to enrich my CD collection.

Depeche Mode - touring the angel (live in milan) - 2DVD+1CD set
Charlotte Gainsbourg - 5:55
Morrissey - the youngest was the most loved (single)
Placebo - placebo (10th anniversary edition) - includes an extra DVD with live and tv performances
Placebo - sleeping with ghosts - extra CD with 10 covers including a beautiful version of kate bush's "running up that hill"
Tones on Tail - everything! (Daniel Ash's post bauhaus project... the compilation includes everything they recorded in their tiny life)
Suede - a new morning (their 2002 final album, which i never bought because it's very pretty and positive, and at the time i was extremely dumb... i really like it now, i'm surprised how closeminded i was years ago... hey, i'll probably say the same thing in 2008 ;)
Suede - singles (this compilation of all their singles never arrived in the stores in venezuela, so now i can say i have their complete catalog. woohoo... shhhhh)
Bauhaus - mask (i wonder why i never bought this marvelous band's second album, but finally i have it in my hands)

plus... we went to the bootleg paradise... rare live DVDs... anything you could ever want... i purchased he following:

The Smiths - live in madrid 1985
Morrissey - live at pinkpop festival 2006
Bauhaus - gotham (1998 reunion performance)
Bauhaus - shadow and light / archive (promo videos and live performance)

and well... i have to admit that the best CD so far is Charlotte Gainsbourg's 5:55. Serge's daughter hooked up with Pulp´s Jarvis Cocker and The Divine Comedy's Neil Hannon to write the lyrics, and the french group Air provided the music... plus... Radiohead's producer Nigel Godrich was behind the board controlling everything. with this allstar crew, what could go wrong? the album is absolutely marvelous, i recommend it with all my heart.

see you soon, happy friday. i'm going to sleep for three days. kisses, i miss you a lot... especially you, crazy young edi (K)x1000.

The Bryan Adams Experience

being an opening act is shitty. yes, backstage is not as good as the main performer; the food you get is nothing compared to the one THE artist has; the soundcheck is too short and rushed; your sound is supervised by the main artist's sound engineer... and if this person decides you're too loud or doing something that is threatening, your sound can be controlled without your own sound engineer even knowing it. yes... being the opening act is a shitty job... but an important one, and it's a pleasure doing it. we knew all this from the first day we got the news, and we just understood the importance of the whole situation, so we did it with a big smile on our face.

when we started playing the venue was a little more than half-full, and poeple's reaction was pretty good. we were a little scared because this was bryan adam's audience, a mixture of thirty-forty somethings that could easily be put in the category of adult contemporary, where we obviously don't belong. but hey, there were some fans because some people yelled our names and they cheered when our songs were introduced, so that was a nice surprise. the performance went smoothly and when we arrived backstage, the smiles were even more prominent. our resume had just gotten a whole lot bigger :P

now it's time for mister bryan to step on the stage. this guy arrived directly from the airport and he just gave a two+ hour set which included ALL of his hits. it's funny how before the concert i just remembered 5, maybe 6 songs... but ALL of his repertoire was saved in my hard disk, i couldn't believe it. he played everything. the last last song he played with his entire band was my favorite "run to you", then he went to play one final acoustic encore. i was waiting for him downstairs with edilma's cd so he could sign it, but no... being the opening act is not enough... it's a shitty job, remember... so i was very elegantly kicked out of the surrounding areas, and i was able to see how bryan just came down from the stage and got into a car that was waiting for him... and he was gone. oh well... i want to be this famous and arrogant and powerful :)

backstage we were talking about how the most important gig of our lives had been the "worst", but it had been a success. so there it was again...the big smile, just like the one you get when your unfaithful lover says he/she's back again... with love to share and a heart to open.

yes, i forgive you bryan. thank you :D

Mexico way

hello everybody, next week i'll have all the details about bryan adams' concert and my trip to mexico. i'm leaving tomorrow for two gigs in the land of zapata, and i will surely be back with some interesting anecdotes.

have a nice rest of the week and weekend... i'll try to log-in if i have the time.

kisses, hug and handshakes...

Nilz
----

Run to you

very appropiate for this day. Bryan Adams and Halloween... it's very obvious i'm always wearing a costume...

---------

She says her love for me could never die
But that'd change if she ever found out about you and i

Oh - but her love is cold
It wouldn't hurt her if she didnt know, cause...
When it gets too much
I need to feel your touch

I'm gonna run to you
I'm gonna run to you
Cause when the feeling's right I'm gonna run all night
I'm gonna run to you

She's got a heart of gold she'd never let me down
But you're the one that always turns me on
You keep me coming round

I know her love is true
But it's so damn easy making love to you
I got my mind made up
I need to feel your touch

I'm gonna run to you
I'm gonna run to you
Cause when the feeling's right I'm gonna stay all night
I'm gonna run to you

I'm gonna run to you
When the feeling's right I'm gonna run all night
I'm gonna run to you

written by Bryan Adams and Jim Vallance

happy halloween everyone (K)

Be still...

Be Still (Jobriath)

Do you have to show up on every corner
Won't the dancin' begin without you
Do you have to put on your eyes for me
Be still I love you
Now be still

We walked through space in the twilight hours
But did you really see the starset
In your restless eyes I found the city lights
Be still I love you
Now be still

Be still I love you
Be still I love you
Be still I love you
I still love you now be still

I know the child that I am has hurt you
And I was a woman when I made you cry
But a little boy wants to dry your tears
Be still I love you
Come on now

Be still I love you
Be still I love you
Be still I love you
I still love you now be still
I still love you
Come on now be still

I heard a rumour...

Heroin(e)

I'm addicted...


HEROINE

She walks in beauty like the night
Discarding her clothes in the plastic flowers
Pornographic and tragic in black and white
My Marilyn come to my slum for an hour

I'm aching to see my heroine
I'm aching, been dying for hours and hours

She walks in the beauty of a magazine
Complicating the boys in the office towers
Rafaella or Della the silent dream
My Marilyn come to my slum for an hour

I'm aching to see my heroine
I'm aching, been dying for hours and hours

... been dying for hours and hours

She walks in beauty like the night
Hypnotising the silence with her powers
Armageddon is bedding this picture alright
My Marilyn come to slum for an hour

I'm aching to see my heroine
Aching, been dying for hours and hours
I'm 18, I need my heroines
Aching, been dying for hours

Oh and I'm never alone now
Now I'm with her

written by Brett Anderson and Bernard Butler

In Dreams

frank booth is a scary fellow. he's evil incarnated. but he looks up to ben. it's obvious ben has to be weirder. but how much weirder? he lip-synchs to roy orbison's "in dreams" while frank watches him, fighting with the tears in his eyes. david lynch... you sick bastard. i love you.



IN DREAMS (Roy Orbison)

A candy-colored clown they call the sandman
Tiptoes to my room every night
Just to sprinkle stardust and to whisper
Go to sleep, everything is all right

I close my eyes, then I drift away
Into the magic night, I softly say
A silent prayer like dreamers do
Then I fall asleep to dream my dreams of you

In dreams I walk with you, in dreams I talk to you
In dreams you're mine all of the time we're together
In dreams, in dreams.

But just before the dawn, I awake and find you gone
I can't help it, I can't help it, if I cry
I remember that you said goodbye

It's too bad that all these things, can only happen in my dreams
Only in dreams, in beautiful dreams

It Doesn't Matter Two

As I lay here with you
The shame lies with us
We talk of love and trust
That doesn't matter

Though we may be the last in the world
We feel like pioneers
Telling hopes and fears
To one another

And oh what a feeling
Inside of me
It might last for an hour
Wounds aren't healing
Inside of me
Though it feels good now
I know it's only for now

The feeling is intense
You grip me with your eyes
And then I realise
It doesn't matter

written by Martin L. Gore

Tired

the sad monotony of the ferris wheel.

inexperience as the world turns.

life in the eyes of others.

I mistook you for a dream.

"cover my face as the animals die"

- Robert Smith

PS: everything OK ;)

Fear

the elegant blow to the heart.

walking through an earthquake without stumbling.

fear in the shape of desire.

Silent Hedges

Silent Hedges (Peter Murphy/Daniel Ash/David J/Kevin Haskins)

Following the silent hedges
Needing some other kind of madness
Looking into purple eyes
Sadness at the corners
Works of art with a minimum of steel

Pure sensation
The beautiful down grade
Going to hell again
Going to hell again

Self confidence leaks
From a thousand wounds
Faults of civilization
Burning the private paradise of dreams
Minus hands of the electric clock
Clock... clock... clock...

What happens when the intoxication of success has evaporated?

Pure sensation
The beautiful down grade
Going to hell again
Going to hell again
Again... Again... Again...



bye bye

Top Gun

Maverick - "She's lost that lovin feeling."

Goose - "She's lost....no she hasn't."

Maverick - "Yes, she has."

Goose - "She has not lost that lovin..."

Maverick - "Goose, she's lost it, man"

Goose - "Come on....I hate it when she loses that!"

Maverick - "Excuse me, miss."

Goose - "Don't worry. I'll take care of it"


You've lost that lovin' feeling

You never close your eyes anymore
When I kiss your lips
And there's no tenderness like before
In your fingertips
You're trying hard not to show it
But baby, baby I know it

You've lost that lovin' feelin'
Woah, that lovin' feelin'
You've lost that lovin' feelin'
Now it's gone, gone, gone woah

Now there's no welcome look in your eyes
When I reach for you
And you've started to criticize
All the little things I do
It makes me feel like crying
Cause baby' something beautiful's dying

You've lost that lovin' feelin'
Woah, that lovin' feelin'
You've lost that lovin' feelin'
Now it's gone, gone, gone, woah

Baby, baby
I'd get down on my knees for you
If you'd only love me
Like the way you used to do
We had a love, a love
A love you don't find every day
So don't, don't, don't
Please don't take it away

Baby (baby)
Baby (baby)
I need your love (I need your love)
I need your love (ooooh)
Bring it on back (ooooh)
Bring it on back

Bring back that lovin' feelin'
Woah, that lovin' feelin'
Bring back that lovin' feelin'
Before it's gone, gone, gone
And I can't go on, woah

You've lost that lovin' feelin'...



Performed by the Righteous Brothers
Written by Mann/Spector/Weil
Produced by Phil Spector

-----------------------------------------

"Top Gun" was one of the epitomes of masculinity in the 80s, and somehow it included one of the gayest scenes ever where val kilmer and tom cruise argue just after having taken a shower... towels wrapped aorund their waist and all.

have a nice week everybody ;)

Expose my heartache to the crowd

I Don't Want To Hear It Anymore (Randy Newman)

In my neighbourhood, where folks don't live so good now
The rooms are small, most of building's made of wood
I hear the neighbours talking about you and me
Yes, I've heard most every word
'Cause the talking's loud, and the walls are much too thin

"She don't really love him"
Oh, that's what I heard them say
"She sure wasn't thinking of him today"
"I saw her in the courtyard", said that girl in room 1-49
"Talking to a boy I've never seen before
And standing there together, don't you know they looked so fine"

No, I don't want to hear it anymore
I don't want to hear it anymore
'Cause the talk just never ends
And the heartache soon begins
The talk is so loud and the walls- they're much too thin

"Lord, ain't it sad", said the woman across the hall
"That a nice boy like that falls in love
Hey, it's just too bad that he had to go and fall
For a girl who doesn't care for him at all"

No, I don't want to hear it anymore
I don't want to hear it anymore
'Cause the talk just never ends
And the heartache soon begins
Oh, they talk so loud
And the walls are much too thin

Oh, I wish they wouldn't talk so loud
And expose my heartache to the crowd
These walls around me are so thin
Sometimes I think they're moving in...

Jean Cocteau

43 years ago today.

welcome, sister death.

Prom Night by Ezra Arcia

Another morning lost

it's like waiting for a crash
waiting for your head to get smashed
it's like waking up on your first day blind
feels like a waste of time

there's nothing to do
nothing but wait
i open my eyes
and see you are not there
nothing to do
nothing but wait
i open my eyes
and you're still not there

another breakfast staring at the wall
the sun just doesn't seem to shine at all
oh i'm alright, but i'm lonely, yes i'm alright
it's just another morning lost...

it's like waiting for the end
waiting for someone to call you "friend"
it sure feels like the end

and there's nothing to do
nothing but wait
i open my heart
i know you are not there
nothing to do
nothing but wait

another breakfast staring at the wall
another hanging garden falls, oh no
well i'm lonely, but it's alright, yes i'm lonely
it's just another morning lost...

another breakfast staring at the wall
another hanging garden falls
the sun just doesn't shine at all
i keep on waiting for your call
and nothing ever happens in my life
nothing ever happens in my life
nothing ever happens, never
nothing ever happens, never...

Giselle and I

Drag (Molko/Olsdal/Hewitt)

You're always ahead of the game
I drag behind
You never get caught in the rain
When I'm drenched to the bone every time
You're the first one to swim across the Seine
I lag behind
You're always ahead of the game
While I drag behind

I drag behind
I drag behind
I drag behind
I drag behind

You're always ahead of the pack
I drag behind
You posses every trait that I lack
By coincidence or by design
You're the monkey I've got on my back
That tells me to shine
You're always ahead of the pack
While I drag behind

I drag behind...

You're always ahead of the rest
When I'm always on time
You got As on your algebra tests
I failed and they kept me behind
I just gotta get off my chest
That I think you're divine
You're always ahead of the rest
While I drag behind

I drag behind...

for heaven's sake. catch me before i kill more. i cannot control myself.

William Heiren - The Lipstick Killer

I have trouble maintaining my moral

Someone shot nostalgia in the back...

this is song is taken from bauhaus' last album burning from the inside. since peter murphy was very ill during the recording sessions, some of the songs feature danial ash and, in this case, david j on vocals.

this song makes me sad.



Who Killed Mr. Moonlight? (Bauhaus)

Consider green lakes
And the idiocy of clocks
Someone shot nostalgia in the back
Someone shot our innocence

A broken arrow in a bloody pool
The wound in the face
Of midnight proposals
Someone shot nostalgia in the back
Someone shot our innocence

In the shadow of his smile
In the shadow of his smile
In the shadow of his smile
In the shadow of his smile

All our dreams have melted down
We are hiding in the bushes
From dead men
Doing Douglas Fairbanks' stunts

All our stories burnt
Our films lost in the rushes
We can't paint any pictures
As the moon had all our brushes

Extracting wasps from stings in flight
Who killed Mr. Moonlight?
Who killed Mr. Moonlight
In the shadow of his smile
Who killed Mr. Moonlight
In the shadow of his smile

Grandpa

"Herman! Herman, please! How many times do I have to tell you not to pound stakes while I'm around? You know it gives me heartburn!"

I want...

Recoil is Alan Wilder... ex-Depeche Mode.


Want (Blackman/Wilder)

I want to know how it'll end.
I want to be sure of what it'll cost.
I want to strangle the stars for all they promised me.
I want you to call me on your drug phone.
I want to keep you alive so there is always the possibility of murder later.
I want to be there when you learn the cost of desire.
I want you to understand that my malevolence is just a way to win
I want the name of the ruiner.
I want matches in case I have to suddenly burn.
I want you to know that being kind is overrated.
I want to write my secret across your sky.
I want to watch you lose control.
I want to watch you lose.
I want to know exactly what it's going to take.
I want to see you insert yourself into glory.
I want your touches to scar me so I'll know where you've been.
I want you to watch when I go down in flames.
I want a list of atrocities done in your name.
I want to reach my hand into the dark and feel what reaches back.
I want to remember when my nightmares were clearer.
I want to be there when your hot black rage rips wide open.
I want to taste my own kind.
I want to be wrapped in cold wet sheets to see if it's different on this side.
I want you to come on strong.
I want to leave you out in the cold.
I want the exact same thing... but different.
I want some soft drugs.. some soft, soft drugs.
I want to throw you.
I want you to know I know.
I want to know if you read me.
I want to swing with my eyes shut and see what I hit.
I want to know just how much you hate me so I can predict what you'll do.
I want you to know the wounds are self-inflicted.
I want a controlling interest.
I want to be somewhere beautiful when I die.
I want to be your secret hater.
I want to stop destroying you but I can't.
And I want and I want and I want.
And I will always be hungry.
And I want and I want and I want...

Nobody Loves Us

Nobody Loves Us (Morrissey/Whyte)

Nine times fined
Never mind
Things can only improve
We are just stood here
Waiting for the next great wound

And we just can't wait to make more mistakes
And to fluff our breaks, and to stuff our faces with cake

All in all, imagine this :
Nobody loves us
Dab-hands at Trouble
With four days of stubble, we are
Never loosen the grip on our hand
Call us home
Kiss our cheeks
Nobody loves us
So we ... oh ... we tend to please ourselves

People think all we do
Is lie around and think of how
Rich we'd be if we didn't think
Life could improve

And we just can't wait to make more mistakes
And we just can't wait till the whole thing blows up in our face

Call us home
Kiss our cheeks
Nobody loves us
Dab-hands at Trouble
With four days of stubble, we are
So, never loosen the grip on our hand
Call us home
Make our tea
Nobody loves us
So we ... oh ... we tend to please ourselves

Call us home
Tuck us in
Nobody wants us
Dreamers and schemers
All pie-eyed, and bog-eyed, and cross-eyed
Oh, never loosen the grip on our hand
Whack us, then
Hug us hard
Nobody loves us
So we ... oh ... we tend to please ourselves

And we just can't stress, oh, how more the mess
And complete distress won't make much difference to us

Sing us our
Favourite song
Nobody loves us
Born-again athiests
Practising troublemakers
Make us our
Favourite jam
Nobody loves us
Useless and shiftless
And jobless
But we're all yours




Don't get me wrong. I'm happy today. This is just one of my favourite Moz songs. Best phrase: "Born-again athiests".

Happy Monday, everyone :P

I get excited when I play... shhhhhhhhhhh

Happy Birthday Brett

today is brett anderson's birthday. with suede, he single-handedly created the britpop/neoglam movement in the UK in the early 90s, becoming a sensation and a sex symbol in different parts of the world. after disbanding suede, he reteamed with the group's original guitarist bernard butler under the name the tears. their debut album is highly recommended. right now he's finishing his first solo album, which will be released sometime next year. here's to you, brett. cheers.

PS. ed, hope you feel better. so i guess you're not going to the beach this weekend, are ya? :( x 1000

here' s a beautiful suede song about the sea...



BY THE SEA (Anderson)

She can walk out anytime, anytime she wants to walk out, that's fine,
She can walk out anytime, anytime she feels that life has passed her by,
And when I start my new life I won't touch the ground,
I'm gonna try hard this time not to touch the ground.

He can walk out anytime, anytime he wants to walk out, that's fine,
He can walk out anytime, across the sand, into the sea, into the brine,
And when I start my new life I won't touch the ground,
I'm gonna try hard this time not to touch the ground.

So we sold the car and quit the job
and shook some hands and wiped the make-up right off,
And we said our good-byes to the bank
left Seven Sisters for a room in a seaside shack,
And when I start my new life I won't touch the ground,
I'm gonna try hard this time not to touch the ground......

it's by the sea we'll breed
it's by the sea we'll breed
into the sea we'll bleed
into the sea we'll bleed...

.
.
.

happy friday/weekend everybody.

hugs, kisses and handshakes :)