The Cup o' Joe

(Jail - Doug brings Pacey some coffee.)

Doug: You were in rare form tonight.

Pacey: How bad do I suck?

Doug: So what seems to be the problem?

Pacey: There is no problem, Dougie.

Doug: Oh, come on, Pacey. I found you hanging from a tree getting completely wasted.

Pacey: Huh?

Doug: So what is it, a girl or something?

Pacey: What?

Doug: Okay, so it's a girl. Who is she?

Pacey: Do you know what, Dougie? It's really not that important, okay?

Doug: Okay. (goes to leave)

Pacey: I'll tell you something, though... She is really, really, annoying!

Doug: Yeah?

Pacey: Yeah, I mean, this girl is amazing. There is not a single subject on the face of the planet that she doesn't have an opinion about. It's mind boggling.

Doug: Well, that certainly sounds like a nightmare.

Pacey: Well, no, I mean... It's not quite like that. I mean, you gotta understand that the girl's really smart, so she's usually right and when she argues, it comes from this really beautiful, pure place. So, I mean, how can you fight against that, you know? Especially if you're a smart ass like me.

Doug: Is she pretty?

Pacey: Yeah, she is pretty. She is very, very pretty. She's actually the kind of pretty that gives you butterflies, you know what I mean?

Doug: Yeah, never lose the butterflies.

Pacey: What?

Doug: You know, maybe that's what sucks about getting older. Somewhere along the line, you just, lose the butterflies. So the question is, little brother, what are you going to do about it?

Pacey: Do?

Doug: Yeah. Do as in, do something. Take action.

Pacey: No, I don't think you're really, properly grasping the gravity of this situation, Dougie. You see, if I was actually to do something about this, there is the strong possibility that the sun would cease to shine. The tides would cease to rise. In fact, I'm betting there's a pretty good chance that the very earth would crack open and Capeside would become home to a huge hellmouth, that would spew forth endless hordes of monsters and demons that would choke the denizens of this city, making them fall to their knees and pray for return to the days before I took action. That's really what we're talking about here.

Doug: Yeah, maybe. Look, Pacey, uhhh, in my experience you don't come across that many people with the ability to give you butterflies. You just don't. And if you don't tell this girl how you feel, well, it'll be like spending the rest of your life in your own personal prison.

(Doug goes to leave)

Pacey: Hey, Doug?

Doug: Yeah?

Pacey: Thank you.