The Infection

i've tried to find ways to tell you for a few days now. i've been infected by something. this whole world seems to crumble upon us, but destiny will prevail. that's the good thing about believing in destiny, no matter what happens, it's not your fault. it's been written. just like our names inside that heart on the park's weird tree we so much love. we almost decided to carve our love on that other tree, the beautiful one everyone uses. poor tree, it just didn't ask to be the diary of a thousand souls. but then we saw that old, grey, big scary tree. the trunk reminded me of our passion. a little crooked, a little old, begging to be helped. our marks were the first ones on that tree. now we're surrounded by other dreamers. i hope they're doing well, i really do. and like that tree, infected by these names, by these love stories, my body has been exposed to the torments of our times. lately i've been thinking about you and i, not really wanting to share everything with the people around us, not really wanting to share anything, period. little cells in my body remind me every day that this is here to stay. together. not together. it's there. it's in our journal, my journal. a moment in the present gone to the past, never to be changed again. regrets... i've had so many of them. like oscar said, it's what we call experience, that's all. so many nights not wanting to be with that person, so many days not wanting to do those things i did, so many stars given to the wrong eyes, to the wrong face. but all those things i did, i did them because they felt right at that moment. how wrong was i. but it's there. never to be changed. so i might as well think about the future. so boring, but at least it's a virgin future, waiting to be enhanced or fucked up. so few options. now i'll just walk and bear the wounds, the bruises that mark my body. this infection, this blow to the heart. some call it love, some rather not give it a name. better luck next time, dear.