The Uninvited Guest

there's no denying this feeling. sometimes thoughts get trapped inside my head and they can't seem to find a way out. most of the time, it's just useless information... harmless information. but sometimes i panic when i realize what i've been thinking these passed few days. it's just like a really gruesome scene from a movie where you can't close your eyes or turn your face away. i guess every now and then you spend some time learning some terrible secret about yourself, and then it takes twice as much to try and deny it, to try to prove the opposite, which of course, in the end it's all a waste of time. once you learn something as hideous as that, it's there to stay. i think it would be so much easier if we just accepted our darkest secrets, our darkest desires. remember the first time i saw you? the place, the time, your hair, my voice... nothing indicated it would be beautiful. it still doesn't. but yet... i can't stop looking. is it the pain... is it the uncomfortable taste in your mouth... is it the sharp pressure on your chest that tells you this just ain't good? as the scalpel cuts through your skin, as your chest is held wide open... remember me, and prepare for the next heart attack.