The Awakening

it happened just like in the movies. i tossed and turned in my sleep and my hand didn't feel you next to me. your side of the bed was empty. you weren't there. you had gone away. it was january 21, and the world already looked quite different. i never received a call from you, or a note, just like you slipped into my life, you slid out of it... without noticing it, without expecting it. funny how things change.
i learned to walk again. i learned to stand on my own two feet again. days, weeks, months passed and they seemed to last forever. 11 months had passed and the unexpected happened... i received a note. it was from you. it was your handwriting. it carried your smell. it said "i'm sorry". it was december 21.
i can't say i was over you, it still hurt. it still does. but reading that note crumbled my world. i didn't know if i was happy to learn about you, or if i hated you for dropping by like that, without a warning. and just like death, you weren't near me, you weren't present, but you filled my life with fear, anxiety, curiosity. why did you send me that note? why did you send another one on november 21? it had the same words... "i'm sorry".
time passed, months passed, and the same thing happened. on october 21, then september 21, august 21... etc. and i grew frightened, i completely lost track of everything, i couldn't concentrate on my work, on my life, on the people around me, everything spinned around that one day... january 21, 12 years after.
11 years had passed and it was february 21. "i'm sorry". i read that note and it was the same surprise, just like those other 11 notes. i just had to wait 11 more months for that day... january 21... the day you left, never to return. those were the longest months in my life. i was scared, horrified, happy, distressed, angry. what would happen? would i finally see you? would you slip back into my life? would i want you to do that? and maybe the most important question... would i forgive you? i just had to wait and see. wait... that's all i'd done all that time.
and it came. it was january 21. i was supposed to receive a note on that morning. but, just like my biggest fear... nothing happened. you didn't show up. i didn't get a note from you. what had happened? weren't you supposed to tell me you were sorry? maybe you knew something i didn't. maybe you knew that i had finally forgiven you.

funny how things change.