Thursday, September 14, 2006

I just called to say...


you're in some party, some get-together with friends, you start to drink, you get into that emotional hazy state and then you begin talking about that person that's been in your head for some time. you get some really useless feedback from your other drunk friends... "that person is no good for you", "that person is not interested", "how dare you to think about that", "when are you going to get over that person", and of course, those things come in through one ear, and come out the other, and be careful, this specific passing through of advices is not to be blamed on the alcohol, that happens 24/7 when you're thinking about someone.

but yes, there suddenly comes a moment when you find yourself thinking that you want to see that person, but maybe the little sane part of your brain that's still not drenched in alcohol tells you that 1) your current state is not the best to be seen in, 2) you'll chicken out when you have that person in front of you, or 3) you're gonna make a fool out of yourself (which always applies, actually). but you still want to see that person, you want to feel that person near you. somehow, you want to let that person know what you're thinking and feeling in this precise moment. but no, you can't see that person.

and it takes some time to actually be honest with yourself and decide to call that person. it's perfect, a call is not so personal, it's not face to face, but the voices can be entwined together, and there's a feeling of togetherness that only comes second to face-to-face conversation. you want to hear that person's voice, and maybe, most importantly, you want that person to listen to yours. there's so little to be said, but so much to be meant.

so suddenly you disconnect from your friends conversation, you can't hear them, your ears, brain and heart are busy thinking about this decision you've just made. you slowly walk out of the place where your friens are, you find somewhere where the music isn't too loud, or where your friend's voices can't ruin the moment, you take your cell phone and think for 5 seconds if you're doing the right thing. you quickly know that you aren't, and you proceed to call that person. the person answers, probably in his/her sleep and you say those magic words that you've been whispering in your head all night...

"I LOOOOOOOOVE YOOOOUUUUUUUU"

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(fade to black)

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next morning, you wake up and after swearing you'll never drink again, you remember what you did last night... and you're terribly ashamed. you need to take all your clothes off, go to the shower, turn on the hot water, sit on the floor, and cry and realize something meaningful... even stevie wonder didn't know better.

22 comments:

Edilma said...

Stevie Wonder dedicated a song to my mother once, a long time ago.

...And maybe you're with your friends, drinking, listening to music...and you start singing Air Supply ;)

Shhhhhhhh!

P.S. You're starting to get depressing.

Anonymous said...

Nilz spot on boy, I go through exactly the same loads of "advice" from everyone around me all day and night... noisy idiots! I think that person is as madly and crazy in love as you are, yeah I know, as crazy as it sounds, but it's the truth! I wish I got a call saying I love you, I would just reply: ME TOO!!
Cheers

Anonymous said...

Edilma that's called love sick...tell me about it!

Don't you just wish you could skip the saying hello part? I get nervous too, but who cares!!

Nilz said...

edilma - wow, a song dedicated by stevie wonder. just lovely :)

and yes, the whole air supply singing part also applies. just as dangerous ;)

and no, i'm not starting to get depressing. i've always had my share of robert-smithness in my life :P

Nilz said...

baby - maybe the other person is also in love with you. but that would make the call completely pointless ;)

hopelessness is somehow longing to be spread out into the world. it's "in" ;)... personal opinion, of course.

Anonymous said...

Maybe maybe maybe? I have to work, but I keep on getting distracted.

La cosa es que me gusta.

Nilz said...

MAYBE is the only word i'm sure of :)

la cosa no es que te guste, sino que lo sientas ;)

Edilma said...

Baby - why would i skip the hello part? That's the best part!

Love - Interesante ;)

Anonymous said...

Actually me too, maybe...

Nilz said...

edilma - which hello part are you talking about?

"hello... nice to meet you"

or

"hello... i want to kiss you" ?

oh, did i say that? :o

Anonymous said...

Do you think I would like it if I didn't feel it?


Mejor me calmo...

Anonymous said...

this beats all my prior forum participations... So many of you from Caracas...lol. Great place?

Anonymous said...

I heard those people are all nut. Well no, actually not all all but some. I also heard it's a happy place.
Well, of course, also there's so so much poverty that it kind of sucks to see so much change. But once you get passed that, it can be so much fun!!

Right Nilz? Talking about your city, if you didn't realize it yet.

Anonymous said...

Bet you Nilz has a huge smile on his face right now, oh oh X-ray vision?

Edilma said...

Nina - I thought you only liked me ;)...I'm a bit jealous. And yes Caracas it's pretty damn nice!

Anonymous said...

Edilma if it wasn't for the name I guess I would say you have nice legs...lol

Anonymous said...

I don't remember if I ever did that...but maybe I was too drunk to remember!

Ahhhh, fools in love....

Nilz said...

el que se calma pierde :o

Edilma said...

Some people call me bloomers, Nina. You can call me that if you want ;)

P.S. I do have nice legs

Anonymous said...

Nilz? Hmm fired up?

Anonymous said...

Edilma I see the pregression, lol Bloomers as in?

I love love Bloom though.

Nilz said...

ok. back.

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hmmm, good to see things are ok in here.